Addressing invitations

Addressing invitations is not one of those short quickly done jobs when you are preparing for a wedding. Not only do you have the outside envelope to address, but you also have an inner envelope to consider. Handwritten addresses are a must, printed labels are not appropriate. Depending on the formality of your wedding and your handwriting skills you may choose to have a professional calligrapher or it is becoming acceptable to address directly on your envelopes by computer in calligraphy style .

Here is the fast track invitation etiquette:
l. Don't wait until the last minute to get started on your list of addresses. It can take time to compile addresses, spellings and titles; to say nothing of getting your families lists!!!

2. The professional title is written out as in "Doctor" not "Dr". If the husband is a doctor your invitation will read "Doctor and Mrs John Jones", if the wife is a doctor but her husband is not the invitation will read "Doctor Heather Lloyd and Mr. Jeremy Lloyd" . If both are doctors you would write " The Doctors Gottfried". If they have different professional titles the wife should be listed first. If the wife of a couple has kept her maiden name her name should appear first and be joined with her husband's using "and".

3. All words in an address on the envelope should be spelled out. House numbers smaller than twenty should be spelled out. Two exceptions to the formal writing out of titles are ... "Mr., Mrs., or Miss." and... because the Post Office prefers the use of two-letter state abbreviations and no comma between the city and state, it is fine to use that form of abbreviation if you wish.

4. The return address should be on the back flap of the envelope and should have all words spelled out.

5.The whole idea of the outer and inner envelope is to make sure that if the outer envelope gets torn the invitation will still be pristine inside the inner envelope. Having said that, it is not necessary to have an inner envelope.

6. Use of the inner envelope beyond the preservation of the invitation is to write the names of intimate relatives and lifelong friends in informal and familial terms such as "Grandmother" or "Auntie Violet and Uncle Elmer." Over thirteen years of age children should receive separate invitations. young sisters and brothers may be sent a joint invitation addressed to "The Misses Jones" or "The Messrs. Jones" on the outer envelope , with" Johnny, Joey and Jimmy" written on the inner envelope. If the children are not on the outer nor on the ( if used) inner envelope they are not invited....If they are invited their names should appear on one or the other envelopes. A quick rule of thumb...when writing on the inner envelope dispense with the first name and write"Doctor Jordan" or for a lawyer"Ms. Mann " instead of the formal "Ms. Joan Mann, Esquire", one more "The Honorable Sam Lantz"on the outer envelope would be "Judge Lantz" on the inner envelope.

No matter what, get organized a month before the send- out date . The invitations should be sent out at least six to eight weeks before the wedding in order to get your guests response 2 - 3 weeks before the wedding. Your event space, ceremony space and caterer will love you for being organized and giving them time to prepare for your fabulous day.
I referenced:
EmilyPost's Wedding Etiquette
Lesley Porcelli, Addressing and Mailing Invitations

wedding cake cutting

I promised I would write an article on how to cut a wedding cake. It really is quite an art but one you can have one of your friends read up on so they can do it for your wedding. It really is fun and in some instances cheaper to have a friend do this for you than to pay someone on the catering staff to do it.

When to cut the cake:
at a sitdown dinner ---cutting is done before dessert is served.
at a luncheon, tea or cocktail --- close to the end of the reception

It is a good idea to notify the caterer and photographer in advance as to the approximate time you plan to cut your cake so they will be ready to do their jobs ie. removing the cake after the official cutting by the Bride and Groom if the cake is to be served from the kitchen and for pictures by the photographer.

cutting the cake :
The Bride puts her hand on the cake knife handle first, the groom puts his hand over top of hers. It is easiest if they cut the bottom layer making two cuts and removing a small slice and moving it to a small plate with two forks.

First bites:
The Groom feeds the bride first and she feeds him second. The tradition is to symbolize their commitment to share with and support each other , and it is NOT appropriate to smash cake in each others faces.

Slices for parents:
It is a nice gesture if the bride and groom cut cake slices for their parents. The bride serving his parents and the groom serving hers. After which the cake may be whisked away to be cut and served to the guests or the official cutter may start serving guests.

Top Layer:
If you want to save the top layer of the cake let the server know so it will be removed and not served to guests.

Cake cutting 101 :

About 2 inches in from the outside, cut all the way around the bottom layer ( the cut runs parallel to the outside of the layer, circle like) Individual slices are cut from this section, and each is lifted onto a cake plate to be served. Sometimes if the bottom layer is very wide you will do this process two times around so the bottom layer is the same size as the second layer. Before moving up to the second layer you may need to remove the cake topper for the bride and groom to save for a latter time. Move to the second layer and continue by again cutting two inches in ( parallel to the outside of this layer ) cutting the individual slices as before until that layer has all been served and cardboard/plastic removed . Move to the next layer down ( which is the center of the bottom layer that you started with) and continue as above until all the cake has been served. Just a note on hygiene, it is a good idea for the cutters to use plastic gloves as sometimes it is necessary to touch the cake slices as they are being moved to the plate. Another good idea is to have a wet, clean towel to periodically clean the cake knife to assure smooth cake pieces .

Of course you have other options to this whole cake cutting process:
You can display a frosted cardboard or foam-core "faux" cake and have sheet cake served from the kitchen ( a much cheaper option ), choose cupcakes, ice cream, dessert table including a spread of pastries, cookies, fruits, cheeses, mini desserts, family ethnic specialty or your favorite dessert.